My brain is a swirl of questions, quarrels, quandaries and…worries today. I’m finding it immensely difficult to organize my thoughts and get what I need done today.

The most pressing is that my Simon (my oldest) is in the oddest mood. Now, he’s not a fanciful child. He’s very concrete and literal at just his ripe old age of five. I fear he will break the Santa case wide open within the next two years. But last night he wouldn’t stay in his bed, couldn’t get to sleep. Very unlike him. When I pressed him as to why, he told me that he knew there weren’t really monsters out his window, but he heard them. And he was afraid that zombies would come and get him.

I was taken aback because he knows that these things are fictional but insisted that I keep the hall light on. But in the light of not wanting to give more power to the fear, I refused. I gave him another hug after a “there are no monsters” chat and sent him back to bed. But this morning, two minutes before I dropped him off for school, I decided to give the “don’t talk to strangers” lecture. During which he stared at me blankly and seriously. Now I’m wondering if I’m doing more harm than good for his safety insecurities.

I’m grateful, though, that my Alvin (my middle son) has outgrown most of his impossible behavior, passing the ornery torch to his little brother. Yes, he is still rambunctious and around our house has the “most likely to be diagnosed ADHD” label but has also grown severely sweet and listens better (about 60% of the time) when told to do something.

Now I have to figure out how to break the tantrums with my youngest (each child of mine reacts to a different technique) because what worked with Alvin and Simon does not work with Theodore. So far the only thing that comes close to working is reverse psychology. When he won’t get into the car (or out of it, or go potty or pick up his toys or eat his dinner), I tell him, “That’s fine, I’ll do it.” Then he’ll decide that he wants to do it, but he’ll only perform the task with a scream of protest at me touching his stuff.

In a completely different universe (my writing universe), I’m – for the very first time – contemplating changing the TITLE of my book instead of my main character’s name. I loved the first title, THAW, because it was short and to the point and was relevant to what happens in the story. It also seemed to add a bit of mystery and intrigue. But now I’m wondering if I shouldn’t give it a more unique name, THE HALF-AND-HALF CLAN. This new title is very specific, more than relevant and supremely unique. I think maybe agents would be more apt to ask for a reading sample.

Wish me luck, for I will not go gentle…

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